Some explanation is necessary with a title and featured image like what appears above. There are too many intended innuendos for me to ignore or brush aside the references while still maintaining some degree of professionalism. Before continuing, I will say that the post is entirely “safe for work.”

The “nuts-and-bolts” of the following list focus on resources about educational aspects of pooping, farting, and toiletry. If I was a teacher, I would insert each nugget of information into the subjects that I list below. Don’t drop the kids off at the pool before visiting all of the items!

Could You Fart Your Way to the Moon?

Publisher: PBS Digital Studios – Space Time
Website: https://youtu.be/iaN0xg2VQSo
Subjects: Physics, Astronomy, Math
Grades: Secondary but the overall premise would entertain elementary students
Description: No, cutting the cheese will not “cut it” for your long-distance space travel. Why? PBS tackles this important question in a quick-paced overview of the science behind fart-fueled propulsion. Other bodily secretions (sneezing and peeing) are also considered in case you are wondering.

10 Flatulent Facts About Whoopee Cushions

Publisher: Mental Floss
Website: http://mentalfloss.com/article/62687/10-flatulent-facts-about-whoopee-cushions
Subjects: Social Studies, History
Grades: All Grade Levels
Description: Although this post will not stretch a student’s thinking skills, I found almost all of the facts to be quite interesting. For example, early iterations of the whoopee cushion were called “Boop-Boop-A-Doops” and actress Whoopi Goldberg’s name is a byproduct of the item’s flatulating mimicry. I would probably use the information contained within the post as a “What Did I Learn Today?” sharing experience with students.

Who Pooped @ the Farm?

Publisher: The Minnesota Zoo
Website: http://www.whopooped.org/
Subjects: Science
Grades: Elementary
Description: Grab your headphones because this website is better with sound. Farting noises and banjo-led music aside, elementary students who spend a little time going through the guided foray into farm animals’ poop will learn about how scientists study scat as well as some poopilicious facts. However, don’t expect any mind-melting learning to transpire- only lower-level knowledge transmission here. Students will also have more fun making the animal poop than anything else.

Earliest Known Wooden Toilet Seat Discovered at Vindolanda

Publisher: Vindolanda Charitable Trust
Website: http://www.vindolanda.com/_blog/press-releases/post/press-release—earliest-known-wooden-toilet-seat-discovered-at-vindolanda/
Subjects: Social Studies, History, Archaeology
Grades: Secondary
Description: Soldiers in the ancient Roman army did not squat in the grass while pooping- they sat on a wooden throne. This new insight was discovered by archaeologists digging in areas known to contain artifacts from the days of the Roman Empire. What other modern conveniences did the Romans employ during gratifying defecation stints? Perhaps a “spongia.” Visit the website to learn what this is…

Rainbow Unicorn Cookies that Poop Stars

Publisher: My Cupcake Addiction
Website: https://youtu.be/JrNIb3a–WI
Subjects: Vocational, History (w/ added effort), Special Occasions
Grades: All Grade Levels
Description: Tell me one person who hasn’t thought about unicorn feces and I will give them a unicorn cookie that poops stars. This video tutorial is included because I find it (a) funny to think that someone took the time to bake in some edible interaction into a cookie and (b) students would love to make and/or receive a mythical representation that defecates astrological entities. If unicorn cookies are a part of any school activity apart from vocational experiences, a creative teacher would need to reference the folklore and historic origins of this animal. See the Unicorn entry on Wikipedia for some touchstones from the Bible, Greeks, and Middle Ages.

Make a Wookiee Cushion with Sound Effects

Publisher: Instructables
Website: http://www.instructables.com/id/Make-a-Wookiee-Cushion-with-sound-effects/
Subjects: Vocational, After-School Programs
Grades: All Grade Levels
Description: This step-by-step tutorial is every nerdist’s dream: A sound player that masquerades as a Wookie accouterment. Chewbacca would definitely place one of these beneath Yoda’s bum. How might this resource fit within a classroom? I think that a teacher might contend that creating a Wookie Cushion is an example of some creative hacking and self-construction. Albeit a little bit expensive given the potential cost of a class set of electronic “noise” makers. Following the same steps but using a cheap whoopie cushion would be more cost effective and doable.